Monday, June 6, 2011

No Longer the Favorite

I'm going to begin by saying typing this will probably make me cry. Actually, there's no probably about it. I will cry.

When Tim & I first discussed getting pregnant, I initially said I wanted to wait a year in the hopes to better prepare myself for the idea of pregnancy. He, on there hand, said sooner was better than later since my grandparents aren't getting any younger, and if we had children after my grandmother died, she would haunt us. (I don't care if you don't believe in that kind of thing, Miss Lillian would haunt us.) I try to never think about any family members dying; therefore, the idea hadn't even crossed my mind. I'm happy we did have the girls when we did because just seeing them brightens my grandparents' day tenfold.

So today, in the car, my grandmother told me that she loved me lots and lots...but that she loves my daughters more. I knew this. I may have been the favorite grandchild growing up, but I've known she loved my children more since the day she literally pushed me out of the way to say hello to them when they were around six months old. It wasn't that statement that brought a tear to my eye. It's what she said next: "Those girls are a ray of sunshine that makes our lives better, and I am so happy that your granddaddy and I get to spend the end of our lives with them here."

Now, I may joke on a regular basis that Grandma is one morbid person. She's convinced she's going to die when she has a bad headache. She even once gave me her diamond anniversary ring because she wasn't going to "make it through" her knee surgery. But I know the inevitable will happen. Everyone on this earth leaves it at some point in time, and I know my grandparents (especially Granddaddy) aren't in the best of health. To know that my daughters help them have better days both warms and breaks my heart. I want my girls to remember their great-grandparents; I hope they are around for a long time so  Lillie and Dani have some good solid memories of them.

Spend lots of time with your family. I know you know in your heart that you love them, but sometimes someone needs to say it for you to realize how much love is there.

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